আমি ও তিস্তা

আমি:
তিস্তা বলেছিলাম ফিরে আসব তোমার কাছে
কিন্তু তার হাত ধরে আসতে পারিনি, একাই এসেছি

বলেছিলাম স্বপ্নের খেয়া ভাসাবো তোমার স্বচ্ছ জলে কিন্তু তা যে চোখের জলে আগেই ভাসিয়ে দিয়েছি

বলেছিলাম অনেক ভালবাসা সাথে নিয়ে আসব কিন্তু আজ আমি নিঃস্ব হাতে এসেছি
তুমি কি গ্রহন করবে আমায়?


তিস্তা:
তিস্তা আমি বয়ে চলেছি যুগ-যুগান্তর ধরে
দেখেছি বহু প্রজন্মের বেদনা যন্ত্রণা সুখ অসুখ
সব বয়ে চলেছি আমার শীতল স্রোতে
এসো আমার তীরে তুমি, এসো আমার তরে
ভাসিয়ে দাও সব গ্লানি, কান্না যত আছে তোমার বুকে
আমি ছিলাম, আমি আছি, আমি থাকবো
বয়ে যাবে আমার স্রোত, মিশে যাবে তোমার সুরে

Co-authored with Dip Sarkar

রিলেশনশিপ and মানসিকতা

আমি মনে করি একটা রিলেশন শিপের স্টেবিলিটি র জন্য মানসিকতার একটা বড় রোল আছে। মানসিকতা মানে জেনারেল মেন্টাল make-up of a person.

How he behaves in a given situation; What he would do; what he would say; how he would think; the way he would proceed given a certain set of environmental conditions.... This is what I refer to when I use the term মানসিকতা...

অনেক সময় একটা কথা আমরা প্রায়ই বলে থাকি, 'opposites attract'.

দুটো মানুষ যদি একদম একই স্বভাবের হয়, হয়তো তাদের সম্পর্ক যতটা interesting হয়, তার থেকে স্বভাব যদি একটু আলাদা হয় তাহলে রিলেশনশিপ explore করার মজাই আলাদা হয়ে যায়, এটা আমি মনে করি। কারণ তখন থাকে অপর মানুষটাকে জানা, এবং চেনা, এবং তার মধ্যে থাকা অনেক অজানা জিনিসকে খুঁজে বার করার একটা আগ্রহ। Thrill। তাই জন্যই হয়তো opposites attract phraseটা এত প্রচলিত।

কিন্তু কখনো-কখনো দুটো মানুষের মানসিকতা এতটাই আলাদা হয়ে যায় যে তারা একেবারে দুই মেরুর মানুষ বলে একে অপরের কাছে দেখা দেয়। কখনো কখনো এমন মনে হয় যে অপর মানুষটা একজন complete stranger.

একে তো চিনি না! এই মানুষটাকে কি আমি ভালোবাসি?

কিন্তু তাও ভালোবাসার টানে সব সময় মনে একটা বল পাওয়া যায়। মনের মধ্যে একটা আশা থাকে, 'যাই হোক না কেন আমি তো ওকে ভালোবাসি; সেও আমাকে ভালবাসে; at the end of the day that is what matters; তাহলে adjust করার চেষ্টা করতে ক্ষতি কি? নিশ্চয়ই পারবো। ও না হলে আমি তো পারব। দেখাই যাক না...'

কিন্তু যদি একদিন এরকম একটা situation তৈরি হয় যখন একজনের মনে হয় যে আরেকজনের মানসিকতাটা আলাদাই নয় খারাপ, তাহলে তার কি রিলেশনশিপ টা continue করা উচিত?

দুজন মানুষের মানসিকতা আলাদা হলে সেটা না হয় adjust করে নেওয়া যায় কিন্তু, যদি কেউ মনে করে যে অপর মানুষের মানসিকতাটাই খারাপ, তাহলে তার কি খারাপ মানসিকতার মানুষের সাথে থাকা উচিত???

আমি মনে করি মানসিকতার ভালোত্ত বা খারাপত্তটা আপেক্ষিক। হয়তো আমার কাছে যেটা ভালো, আরেকজনের কাছে সেটা খারাপ and vice versa. আর জোর করে চেষ্টা করেও কারুর thought process কে পাল্টানো যায় না।

তাই, এই সিচুয়েশনে যখন আমি মনে করছি যে অপর মানুষটা ভালো না (বা, তার মানসিকতা খারাপ), আমার কি উচিত সবকিছু জেনে; বুঝে; মেনে; খারাপ মানসিকতার মানুষটার সাথে সংসার করা???

আমার প্রিয় ডাইরী

কত শত সুখ দুঃখ লুকিয়ে রেখেছো তুমি তোমার বুকে,

কত চোখের জলের সাক্ষী হয়ে আছো তুমি
কত গোপন কথা জানতে দাওনি কাউকে
আজ যাবার আগে বলে যাই
 আর চেপে রেখো না তোমার মনে জমে থাকা অনুভূতি গুলো

আমি হয়ত থাকব না
কিন্তু যদি সে আসে আমার সন্ধানে
তুমি খুলে দিও তোমার মনের দড়জা
বলে দিও তাকে তোমার বুকে জমে থাকা কথাগুলো
মুক্ত করো তোমার হৃদয়

Author information:

Dipankar Sarkar 

dipsarkar704@Gmail .com

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100007069442158

Filth

Nilargha was drunk. Di had called him many times since afternoon but he didn't bother to pick up her calls. In Fact, he had not taken any calls today. It was around 11.30pm when finally he called di.

A compassionate male voice answered the call. It was Di's husband, his brother-in-law, 'where have you been, Nil. We've been worried’. Nothing jaibu (Jamai Babu), was just lying down. Will go to sleep.

Di soon snatched the phone and scolded, ‘ Ki re! How many times have I called you, but you didn't answer. Kheyechis Kichu?’. 'Hmm’, said Nilargha indicating he had eaten for the night.

'Ki kheyechis’, Di asked to which he replied, 'Mod’. 'Please don't scold today di. Let me be on my own tonight. I'll be sober by morning. You know, I don't drink frequently now’.

Di didn't scold. She was calm. Gently, she said, ‘ ok, go to sleep. We shall talk tomorrow morning. Good night’.

He cut the call and kept the mobile aside. His mind wandered to the fateful night, 5 years ago on the same date.

Surajit was in his room. He wanted to come out to his family. He told Nilargha. Nilargha was confident. His elder sister (Di) knew. She had always supported her younger brother. She wanted to see him happy.

In a moment of happiness Surajit held him in a warm embrace and planted a kiss on his lips just when his father entered. The moment was awkward for all three. Nilargha froze where he stood and Surajit separated himself away from nilargha. His father turned down his eye, and left the room without saying a word.

Not knowing what to do, Surajit decided it was best he left for his home. It was getting late. 10pm. He didn't have the courage to meet uncle and say bye. He just walked past him sitting on the sofa. As he was about to make an exit, his father called out to Surajit, ‘I am aware what you two guys have been upto. It is better you don't come to my house again.’

Nilargha protested immediately, and shouted ,'Baba!’. The old man calmly said, 'You guys are adults. Do what you want to do outside my house.’ Then turning to Nilargha he calmly said,'Don’t bring such filth in my house again’.

Surajit turned down his gaze on the floor and rushed out of the house. Nilargha ran behind him, but he hopped on the approaching bus and sped away.

Repeated calls to his number that night went unanswered for the next one hour until finally the call was picked up for a traffic sergeant who informed that Surajit had met with an accident at Chingrighata crossing. He missed an approaching vehicle, probably absentmindedly that rammed headon into him.

Nil had rushed out but by the time he reached the hospital, Surajit was gone forever.

Nilargha had slipped into depression. It had taken multiple psychiatrist visits and a lot of support from Di and Jaibu for him just to grab a foothold on his life again. 5 years had passed. He has cut down on his drinking but on this night, he finds it impossible. Sedatives don't seem to work.

Baba used to tell him often, ‘one never forgets his first love.’ With time, Baba had become quieter and the two men had developed an invisible wall of silence between them which neither of them ventured to break.

On this night, Baba would retire early and Niladri would stay awake for the entire night thinking, if only he had not brought in the 'filth’ in his house, that fateful night...

belated Valentine's Day Post

Valentine’s Day

He, She and V day!

2018

by Leaf of Spring on February 14th

She had planned for it from two days before, that is monday. She made it a point to tell him. The forgetful him, he was bound to forget. It has always been his usual self. He forgot her birthday; the first day they met; they kissed; fucked... his own birthday as well. So she had not much expectations from his this year and instead of waiting for him to recall things in time, she made it a point to let him know that two days later was V day and V stood for “Valentine’s” and not “Vagina”.


It was monday and things were as usual for him. She called, greeted the good morning and came straight to the point, “listen, I know you’ll have night shift on tuesday and will be tired as you will be working on wednesday morning as well. So I was thinking that I’ll come up to your neighbourhood rather then you coming down all the way from north.” Needless to say, she knew well the he had forgotten about the V day. And so, she reminded him to which he replied a cool yes as if he knew everything, but in reality he didn’t.


She wanted to make the day special for him. She had never gifted a red rose to anyone. This was the first time she would be someone's valentine and she felt it mandatory to carry a red rose to gift on greeting. Enroute, while crossing a departmental store she saw a milton flask. She knew how much he loved his coffee served warm, especially through those sleepless night shifts every week. She took it and got it gift wrapped. Then she recalled, she had bought a soup bowl complete with a lid and a spoon packed neatly and kept safe in her cupboard. She returned to her room, retrieved the third gift and just when she was about to step through the door, he called.


She was late. “As usual”, he’d say. He was tired and when he was tired, his sense of calm gave in to boredom and displeasure. He would not say much, but would kill her by staying quiet. Quietness was his weapon of mass destruction. His quietude could kill.


She made an excuse, as she almost always did and which he knew to be an excuse for getting late. She started. Took the rikshaw to 8B bus stand...auto to Tollygunge...metro to dumdum. One thing was but baffling. The next station, Noapara was nearer to him but he chose Dumdum.


That overcrowded, romanceless place for a V day meet! Yuck. Men are stupid and romanceless. No! Not all men, but her’s was. She saw how romantic was her roomie’s bf and she’d often shigh, if only her’s was even 10% of that. He was a stupid guy mostly lost in his own world.


But still, Dumdum of all places!!!


She boarded the metro when his call beeped to ask where she was. He may get a bit late and so to utilize time he asked her to hop one station up and wait at Noapara. She had but no other option.


And, Noapara was still a better less crowded place as compared to dirty Dumdum. As the trained entered Dumdum the announcement caught her attention. This train was going to Noapara. Not all trains go. Some end at Dumdum. A few ply further north to Noapara.


He had booked an Ola straight to Noapara metro. He realized, to travel to Dumdum during the peak traffic time in evening would be stupid as it would eat up a lot of time. Rather he would do better if he hired an Ola to Noapara and got on the metro from there. Dumdum was only one station away.


As he ascended the escalator, he saw her standing at the upper end smiling at him. She hugged him tight and kissed him gently on his cheeks. And then, taking a look through the angle of her eyes, gauging that the platform was empty save a guard, she put a kiss on his lips.


Well, this is India. You can kick someone openly, but you need to consider many things before kissing someone you love.


They sat on the empty chairs meant for old and/or physically impaired. The metal felt cold on their respective bums. She opened the bag she had been carrying and brought out the red rose. He was happy and smiled. He smelled it. It had none and that is what she lamented as well while he smelled the flower and then said, “no, it does smell. It has retained its essence. Probably your nose got stuffed by cold, but it smells wonderful”.


Then she gave the other two gifts and he blushed and said, “you got me so many things, but I got nothing”, to which she replied, “I didn't buy you these things in expectation of gifts from you in return. I got them just because i felt like buying them for you.”


The train entered the platform. He got up and held out his hand, “come, lets go”.

Dumdum

They got down amid the maddening evening crowd. Lovers, office commuters, work less bystanders, hawkers, vegetable and fruit sellers and everyone else. He held her hand tight as they commuted through the underpass. They took the left turn in front of the stairs that led up to the Dumdum railway junction and got up the railed sidewalk to avoid the heavy traffic. Once they were on Dumdum road, he said, let’s go to the Spectacle shop and get your power checked. You’ve been having these headache of late and probably a power check and a new pair of specs would do you good. “You see, I thought it would be better if I got you something useful for you. So I decided to take you for an eye checkup for a V day treat,” he said almost with a bit of ashamed look.


She smiled and they went to the shop. Satyacharan opticals. It was in his old neighbour-hood and he knew the guy. He had already called him and fixed an appointment.


He doubt was confirmed. Indeed her power had changed and probably that was the reason for her headache out of eye strain. The man showcased her an array of spectacles. She would try one after another but and recheck with him. He liked most of them but she felt confused. One was difficult to wear- size issue, other had an issue with colour, another had a design issue etc. and so on.


He sat and let her choose patiently. After a certain point of time, he got up impatiently and asked for his power to be checked while she was busy scurrying through the array of spec designs. His left eye had a minor change in power but he decided to try a new spec and within no time a spec was chosen, and advance paid and she still kept trying to figure out one good spec for herself.


At last, she came down to one great design that she loved but unfortunately it did not fit. It was already 9.30pm. He had no choice left but to escort her back to metro. She had to travel down south and if she missed the last train, they would have to travel via road. An idea he didnt like much. Travelling via road from north to south kolkata.


As they parted, he whimpered, “I wanted to gift you a spec for the V day. But the man ran out of stocks.” she kissed him and smiled, “You are the best V day gift I have”.


The train sped down south as he waved good night.



READ MORE ON OUR WEBSITE

Why hold him back?

He lay there crying in pain
He harboured a virus long inside
No one knows how it came
For how long it has been eating him
But finally the body gave up
Lost the fight against the invader
Deep yellow his eye
A liver studded with cancer meats
Stretched down till the belly button
His arms licked dry by the disease
He cries in pain
Intact are his senses still
But losing grip of reality slowly
He knows he will end
His body is eaten up from inside
In deep pain he suffers
Askes forgiveness for crimes
He cant remember committing
Maybe the reasult of lives past
The heinous crimes he must have done
He wants to leave this world behind
And become a thing of past.
But the doctor won't listen
His passionate cries of desperation
He comes and notes and goes
A lifeless smile playes on his face
Do whatever but bent can't he be.
The nurse follows with injections
The fluid burns through the veins
He cries for mercy to the lord
And he wants him to embrace.
It's a gone case says the doc to a colleague
Then why do you hold him back?
He lives in pain
Cant he at least die in peace?
What's the point in holding him back
Piercing the lost body with torchering sharps
His manhood burns from the infected catherter
His body is rotting in his own shit
All he askes is the peace of death
Life - you couldn't give back to him
And still... Hold him back
As long as possible
Is that what makes you humane?

Read other poems at allpoetry

INSTALLING HUSBAND !!!

A woman writes to the IT Technical support.....
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend
5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall system
performance, particularly in the flower
and jewellery applications, which
operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled
many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention
6.5,and then installed undesirable
programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0
and CRICKET 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and
Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. Please note that I have tried running
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail. What can I do? Signed,
_______ _________ _________
_________ ______ ___ _______


REPLY: DEAR Madam, 
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an
Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command:
ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to
downloadTears 6.2 and do not forget
to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed,
Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.. However, remember, overuse of the
above application can cause
Husband1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or
Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad
program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT in any
circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that
will eventually seize control of all your
system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to
reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications
and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great
program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software
to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good
Looks 7.7. Good Luck Madam!

(source: Internet)

family gets back DEAD son

He was forced to leave his family and home in Uttar Pradesh for a living. He could not bear the separation and gradually became a person with learning disabilities. Somehow, he reached the city and by a stroke of luck and unconditional support from a poor couple, he finally won over the trauma and went back to his family after seven years.

Vinod Sahni, a youth from a remote village in eastern UP, left his native place and family to work in a weaving mill in Ludhiana. Though he was reluctant to leave his root, his wife insisted on his going. Being a village youth, Vinod could not adapt to city life or bear the detachment from his village. He left Ludhiana after a few days without informing anybody after which he remained untraced. For his family, he was dead. But finally, Vinod got back to his family and his parents embraced him with tears swelling in their eyes. 

All these were possible because of a group of people who, despite living on pavements, extended support to the unknown vagabond and helped him get back to normal life.

 “Around three years back, we suddenly spotted the youth staying on the pavement close to our tea stall. He was not in sound health. He would often soil the pavement and others who stayed there were annoyed with him and tried to drive him out,” said Lalti Devi, a middle-aged tea stall owner. 

It was Banani Nath, a social worker attached with Iswar Sankalpa — an NGO that works with people with special needs, who first spotted the youth. 

“Initially, he refused to cooperate. He communicated with me for the first time after more than six months,” said Banani. 

After a medical checkup, Lalti and her husband Kumar took responsibility of the youth. 

“The couple used to feed him and would mix medicines with the food initially,” said Sarbani Das Roy, secretary of the organization. 

It took nearly a year to bring about some normalcy in the youth.

 Next, he was taken to a centre near Hastings where he underwent different therapies. All this while, Vinod got a new identity — Chuni — to the Singh couple and members of Iswar Sankalpa. 

“Chuni responded well to treatment and, for the last one year, he started doing odd jobs like cleaning cars,” said Banani. 

But, he used to stay at the same spot on the pavement near the crossing of CIT Road and Suresh Sarkar Road at night. 

“He kept some money with me. He wanted to start a business,” said Lalti, who took care of an unknown youth for months. 

Some weeks ago, he slowly managed to recount his past, his village and address. With the help of Hasting police station, his family was informed. 

On Monday, Lalti and Kumar handed over Vinod — Chuni to them — to his family members. 

With tears in their eyes, they assured Chuni that they would definitely visit his village home.

-(The Times of India)

Motherhood

love and pain

Through love, I tasted the spirit of life.
Curing one pain, it yielded another incurable one.

- Mirza Ghalib

7(seven) lovely logics

I hate love story (medico version)

I was in 12th standard,
She was my classmate.

I joined MBBS,

She joined BSc.

I was in MBBS
She joined MSc.


I was in MBBS,
She joined PHD.


I completed MBBS and started PG preparation,
She completed her PHD.


I started my MD Gynae,
She got married.


I completed my MD Gynae,
She was a mother of TWO CHILDREN.


Today in my ENGAGEMENT and her TUBECTOMY.

-(from internet)