Very true to my experience...
Atypical Bong - a blog on Life and Perspectives
Can you be happy without sex?
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At 28 I am now getting the pain of an erupting 3rd molar! Not only late for the tooth to come out but, it is causing a lot of trouble as well. Couple with it the viral fever that has gone viral in the neighborhood! And I was also not spared either.
At 28 I am now getting the pain of an erupting 3rd molar! Not only late for the tooth to come out but, it is causing a lot of trouble as well. Couple with it the viral fever that has gone viral in the neighborhood! And I was also not spared either.
I too contracted the fever two days
back. Still there was a sore throat and malaise. And over it now the tooth-ache!!!
Well, I’ve been sitting back at
home for the last two days, missed my night shift at the hospital—not that I love
my night shifts, but it’s the always annoying creepy feeling that I’ll have to
do two night shifts some week (one my own and the other as a payback to the guy
who managed my shift yerternight), got pricky hairs on my unshaven face…
Today evening turned out better. The
analgesics were working coupled with the ginger-honey tea I helped myself with.
The temperature was down and so was the pain. I got up and took a shower,
shaved (after the shower though, as I had nothing more to do and the hairs were
irritating). I was fresh…
Then I realized I had nothing
specific to do for the rest of the evening. So I turned to do something I loved.
The internet! And surfing the net is one my all time favorite pass-times. So, there
I was lying on my bed getting cozy with my laptop!
Sometimes searching aimlessly
through the net gives out many interesting stuffs which at other times, we may
not even think or, have time to consider, considering how busy ours lives have
become. Well, surfing aimlessly I came across yahoo answers where a guy had
asked, “Can you be happy without sex?”. Guess the guy must be a Brazilian as per his
suggestive Id (The Brazilian Lover)
although, one never knows if that’s what it actually is in this cyber world of
hide-and-seek where many will hide behind a veil pretending to be someone they
are actually not.
But, whatever. The question was
interesting and as with an idle mind with nothing much to do through the
evening, I went on to prod through the topic.
So I scrolled down and checked the
answers. One answer went- Sex isn't the
only thing that makes me happy in life. So while yes, I could be happy without
sex. I prefer having sex as part of my life. It received a lot of thumbs-up
as a mark of approval from other readers.
There were other comments like, “As rational human being, sex is our basic
necessity in life. Is it part of our metabolism. If we work,, sleep, eat and we
do not have sex, there is no meaning in life. At the end of the day, the
rregular sex we have, the happier we are going to be.”, and also, “yes i am a virgin and perfectly happy with
my life .... happiness should be within the soul not from outside factors you
should be happy with yourself in order to sense happiness”.
Somebody rather answered by
questioning, “can you be happy without sex?”!!! and there was one who said, “yes.I hate sex”.
Surely the topic and discussions
were interesting enough to stir up the neural networks in the brain that had
been dozing idle for the last couple of days.
So, I sat back and gave it a
thought…
What I feel is that sex is definitely an important part of life
(both procreative as well as recreative)
Procreative—because if it weren’t for this, then we would not be
here today, nor would there be any more future generations from us...
Recreative—a popular internet blog goes: Human beings have been walking the earth for more than 6,000 years, and we’ve been having sex for just as long!
Sex is good. It’s pleasurable; it’s inspiring; it’s a decent form of cardiovascular exercise; it’ll help you lose weight. In a word, sex is awesome!
Recreative—a popular internet blog goes: Human beings have been walking the earth for more than 6,000 years, and we’ve been having sex for just as long!
Sex is good. It’s pleasurable; it’s inspiring; it’s a decent form of cardiovascular exercise; it’ll help you lose weight. In a word, sex is awesome!
It further elaborates on the various benefits of having recreative sex like:
1. Asserting your desires can create a tremendous sense of power.
2. It might help you transcend your inhibitions.
3. You’ll learn more about your sexuality
4. You might learn about yourself emotionally
5. You might be a better partner in a committed sexual relationship
6. You’ll learn more about sex
Then I remembered, I had also previously
written on the benefits of having sex: http://drpknath.blogspot.in/2012/01/health-benefits-of-having-sex.html
Well, in the end what I can conclude is that SEX is an important aspect of
life, but sex is NOT LIFE in
itself..
What I mean to express is, life should decide about sex and not the other way round for a healthy and happy LIFE...
So happiness in life doesn't just come from sex only - although sometimes sex can add some spice to it ;)
What I mean to express is, life should decide about sex and not the other way round for a healthy and happy LIFE...
So happiness in life doesn't just come from sex only - although sometimes sex can add some spice to it ;)
50 food tips from world over
1. Add salt towards the end of the cooking process, as adding it in the beginning increases cooking time. -Rupali Dean, food consultant, writer and photographer
2. When making a whole roast chicken, salt it, then chill it, uncovered, in the fridge for the day. This helps season the bird and dries out the skin so it crisps perfectly when cooked. Remove it from the fridge an hour before you put it in the oven, and add herbs and aromatics. -Amanda Hesser, food blogger, Food52.com
3. When making a veggie juice, use a minimum of three different colours (for instance, a red tomato, spinach and an orange carrot) so that you'll get different varieties of anti-oxidants. -Pooja Makhija, celebrity nutritionist, Mumbai
4. Add a pinch of salt to dark chocolate to make it sweeter. -Rishim Sachdeva, chef, Uzuri, New Delhi
5. To make bananas last longer, wrap them in a brown paper bag and store them in the fridge; the skin will turn black but the bananas will last longer. -Janti Duggal, chef, Mamagoto, New Delhi
6. Store fresh herbs as you would fresh flowers: in a jar of water on your countertop. Pluck off what you need, change the water daily, and they'll last two to three times longer than they would in the fridge. You'll get the most extra mileage from flat-leaf parsley. -Jenny McGruther, food blogger, Nourishedkitchen.com
9. While cooking lentils or chicken, bring them to a boil for some time and separate the froth that accumulates on the top. This is collected dirt that should be removed before one covers the utensil with a lid. -Veena Arora, chef de cuisine, Spice Water Trail The Imperial, New Delhi
10. Don't throw away the peel of vegetables. Let them simmer in hot water and add some peppercorns and bay leaf to make vegetable stock. This stock can be used as a gravy base for dishes instead of plain water. This will add more flavour and nutritional benefits to your gravy. -Kapil Sethi, chef, Cavalli Caffe, New Delhi
2. When making a whole roast chicken, salt it, then chill it, uncovered, in the fridge for the day. This helps season the bird and dries out the skin so it crisps perfectly when cooked. Remove it from the fridge an hour before you put it in the oven, and add herbs and aromatics. -Amanda Hesser, food blogger, Food52.com
3. When making a veggie juice, use a minimum of three different colours (for instance, a red tomato, spinach and an orange carrot) so that you'll get different varieties of anti-oxidants. -Pooja Makhija, celebrity nutritionist, Mumbai
4. Add a pinch of salt to dark chocolate to make it sweeter. -Rishim Sachdeva, chef, Uzuri, New Delhi
5. To make bananas last longer, wrap them in a brown paper bag and store them in the fridge; the skin will turn black but the bananas will last longer. -Janti Duggal, chef, Mamagoto, New Delhi
6. Store fresh herbs as you would fresh flowers: in a jar of water on your countertop. Pluck off what you need, change the water daily, and they'll last two to three times longer than they would in the fridge. You'll get the most extra mileage from flat-leaf parsley. -Jenny McGruther, food blogger, Nourishedkitchen.com
9. While cooking lentils or chicken, bring them to a boil for some time and separate the froth that accumulates on the top. This is collected dirt that should be removed before one covers the utensil with a lid. -Veena Arora, chef de cuisine, Spice Water Trail The Imperial, New Delhi
10. Don't throw away the peel of vegetables. Let them simmer in hot water and add some peppercorns and bay leaf to make vegetable stock. This stock can be used as a gravy base for dishes instead of plain water. This will add more flavour and nutritional benefits to your gravy. -Kapil Sethi, chef, Cavalli Caffe, New Delhi
11. When cooking brinjal, add a spoon of milk to a bowl of cold water; add the cut brinjal into it. The veggie will retain its colour without turning black. -Neha Malhotra, chef, Welcomhotel Sheraton, New Delhi
12. While cooking rice, add a few drops of lemon juice. The colour of the grains will become bright white. -Neha Malhotra
13. Always crack an egg on a flat surface, and never the edge of a bowl. Otherwise you'll risk shell shards and possible contamination of your food. -Aida Mollenkamp, food blogger, Aidamollenkamp.com
14. Mix soya flour or besan with atta (in 1:4 proportion) to make chapattis. This way you get all the essential amino acids for meal times. -Sheela Krishnaswamy, diet, nutrition and wellness consultant, Bengaluru
15. A runny-yolked fried egg adds instant richness and taste to pasta, rice and grain dishes. - Cara Eisenpress, food blogger, Biggirlssmallkitchen.com
16. If you have leftover gravy, take uncooked rice, measure out the gravy and add water (double the quantity of rice). Pressure cook for a couple of whistles, to make a pulao. -Rupali Dean
17. Always try and use fruit for sweetness-it lends added flavour, texture and colour, adding to the complexity. -Deeba Rajpal, recipe developer and food stylist
18. Make a slightly 'off' wine taste better by pairing it with cheese. Most cheese coat the palate and numb our senses to minor wine flaws. -Magandeep Singh, sommelier, New Delhi
19. Like food, drinks can benefit from quality ingredients. Fresh herbs, fruit, smoked salt and chillies are all wonderful additions to your bar. -Erin Scott
20. Assemble all your spices before you begin cooking, so you don't burn any. Preferably dry-roast them in the oven (120-140?C) for 3-10 minutes (depending on the spice and quantity-cinnamon for 3 minutes, star anise and black cardamom for 10). Your cue to taking them out: when they begin to release fragrant aromas. If you need to fry them, do so on the lowest heat, for a maximum of 35-40 seconds to avoid burning. -Rekha Kakkar, food photographer, New Delhi
12. While cooking rice, add a few drops of lemon juice. The colour of the grains will become bright white. -Neha Malhotra
13. Always crack an egg on a flat surface, and never the edge of a bowl. Otherwise you'll risk shell shards and possible contamination of your food. -Aida Mollenkamp, food blogger, Aidamollenkamp.com
14. Mix soya flour or besan with atta (in 1:4 proportion) to make chapattis. This way you get all the essential amino acids for meal times. -Sheela Krishnaswamy, diet, nutrition and wellness consultant, Bengaluru
15. A runny-yolked fried egg adds instant richness and taste to pasta, rice and grain dishes. - Cara Eisenpress, food blogger, Biggirlssmallkitchen.com
16. If you have leftover gravy, take uncooked rice, measure out the gravy and add water (double the quantity of rice). Pressure cook for a couple of whistles, to make a pulao. -Rupali Dean
17. Always try and use fruit for sweetness-it lends added flavour, texture and colour, adding to the complexity. -Deeba Rajpal, recipe developer and food stylist
18. Make a slightly 'off' wine taste better by pairing it with cheese. Most cheese coat the palate and numb our senses to minor wine flaws. -Magandeep Singh, sommelier, New Delhi
19. Like food, drinks can benefit from quality ingredients. Fresh herbs, fruit, smoked salt and chillies are all wonderful additions to your bar. -Erin Scott
20. Assemble all your spices before you begin cooking, so you don't burn any. Preferably dry-roast them in the oven (120-140?C) for 3-10 minutes (depending on the spice and quantity-cinnamon for 3 minutes, star anise and black cardamom for 10). Your cue to taking them out: when they begin to release fragrant aromas. If you need to fry them, do so on the lowest heat, for a maximum of 35-40 seconds to avoid burning. -Rekha Kakkar, food photographer, New Delhi
21. Whenever possible, cook the whole chicken or fish to get more juiciness and better flavour. The carcass also makes a fantastic stock and can stretch your money by providing the base for a new meal. -Elana Amsterdam, foodblogger, Elanaspantry.com
22. Use wholegrains rather than refined ones for baking. In a recipe that lists refined flour as one of its ingredients; there's some form of fat in it (butter or oil). Take baby steps to ease maida out of your kitchen-try 50:50, gradually increase it. -Deeba Rajpal
23. Freeze fresh ginger and grate as needed. It will stay fresh for months. -Tara O'Brady, food blogger, Sevenspoons.net
24. Always roast (not boil) sweet potatoes in their skin. They're high in fibre, Vitamin A and anti-oxidants and are a great source of carbs. -Ishi Khosla, nutritionist, New Delhi
25. Anytime I turn on my oven, I think about what else I can cook. This saves energy and ensures that I always have healthy options available. -Tina Haupert, food blogger, Carrotsncake.com and a little of the boiling pasta water and stir like crazy (the heat should kill any bacteria). -Cara Eisenpress
26. Add dried fruit to oatmeal before you add the milk or water. The fruit will cook and plump up slightly, adding a juicier, more intense taste. -Sanura Weathers, food blogger, Myliferunsonfood.com
27. Always use the best extra-virgin olive oil you can afford in your pastas, for drizzling into soups, onto a risotto or for salads. Don't pour the extra-virgin olive oil into a hot pan or else it will burn. Heat the pan to a moderate temperature and either use pomace olive oil or drizzle the oil onto your meat, chicken or fish before cooking. -Saby, chef, Olive Bar & Kitchen, New Delhi
28. For a creamy pasta sauce that doesn't require a ton of butter or cheese, toss a room-temperature beaten egg with the hot pasta and a little of the boiling pasta water and stir like crazy (the heat should kill any bacteria). -Cara Eisenpress
29. Store tea in air-tight jars. Buy a little at a time (100-250 g), as tea absorbs moisture, so each time you open the jar you're exposing it, reducing flavour and freshness. -Sanjay Kapur, master tea taster, Sancha Tea, New Delhi
22. Use wholegrains rather than refined ones for baking. In a recipe that lists refined flour as one of its ingredients; there's some form of fat in it (butter or oil). Take baby steps to ease maida out of your kitchen-try 50:50, gradually increase it. -Deeba Rajpal
23. Freeze fresh ginger and grate as needed. It will stay fresh for months. -Tara O'Brady, food blogger, Sevenspoons.net
24. Always roast (not boil) sweet potatoes in their skin. They're high in fibre, Vitamin A and anti-oxidants and are a great source of carbs. -Ishi Khosla, nutritionist, New Delhi
25. Anytime I turn on my oven, I think about what else I can cook. This saves energy and ensures that I always have healthy options available. -Tina Haupert, food blogger, Carrotsncake.com and a little of the boiling pasta water and stir like crazy (the heat should kill any bacteria). -Cara Eisenpress
26. Add dried fruit to oatmeal before you add the milk or water. The fruit will cook and plump up slightly, adding a juicier, more intense taste. -Sanura Weathers, food blogger, Myliferunsonfood.com
27. Always use the best extra-virgin olive oil you can afford in your pastas, for drizzling into soups, onto a risotto or for salads. Don't pour the extra-virgin olive oil into a hot pan or else it will burn. Heat the pan to a moderate temperature and either use pomace olive oil or drizzle the oil onto your meat, chicken or fish before cooking. -Saby, chef, Olive Bar & Kitchen, New Delhi
28. For a creamy pasta sauce that doesn't require a ton of butter or cheese, toss a room-temperature beaten egg with the hot pasta and a little of the boiling pasta water and stir like crazy (the heat should kill any bacteria). -Cara Eisenpress
29. Store tea in air-tight jars. Buy a little at a time (100-250 g), as tea absorbs moisture, so each time you open the jar you're exposing it, reducing flavour and freshness. -Sanjay Kapur, master tea taster, Sancha Tea, New Delhi
30. Do not use oil in the water when boiling pasta; it prevents the sauce from sticking to the cooked pasta and you do not get a mouth feel.-Sahil Arora, executive chef, Jaipur Marriott
31. Make a non-messy version of dal to take to work easily: soak the dal, air-dry, add dry masalas (chilli powder, chaat masala, coriander, mint) and ovenroast them. -Pooja Makhija
32. The lack of a punt (The depression at the bottom of a bottle) is the sign of an average wine. Explanation: only cheap bottles are made without a punt and a winemaker would use a cheap bottle only for an entry-level product. -Magandeep Singh
33. For the smoothest mash potato, roast the potatoes with their skin (peel) on; peel and then pass it through a sieve. -Rishim Sachdeva, chef, Uzuri, New Delhi 34. To thicken soups, use boiled and mashed potatoes instead of white sauce to reduce the fat content of the soup. -Sheela Krishnaswamy
35. A good soup is made a day in advance. Let it sit in the fridge overnight, then warm it gently and all the flavours will marry beautifully.-Sara Forte, food blogger, Bysarahashley.com
36 Cut the crown of the pomegranate with a sharp knife, make a few cuts on the skin from the crown to the stem. Then, place it into a large bowl of chilled water. Break into sections, gently separating the seeds from the pulp, which will float to the top while the seed will sink to the bottom. Throw away the pulp and drain the seeds. -Manju Malhi, chef and author, UK
37. Wash your fruits and vegetables in apple cider vinegar and filtered water, including oranges, lemons and everything that has a skin (except bananas). -Soorya Kaur, raw food chef, New Delhi
38. To overcome the problem of undercooked dal add a tablespoon of oil to it before boiling. The oil helps to cook the dal/pulses perfectly; if using a pressure cooker, it also prevents the dal from overflowing out of the vessel. -Michael Swamy, chef, Mumbai
39. When barbecuing, place a whole whorl of garlic (unpeeled) on the grill. -Bakshish Dean, chef, Johnny Rockets, New Delhi
40. When seasoning a salad, use coarse sea salt mixed with a little olive oil; the salad will stay crunchy when combined with the vinaigrette, for a long time. -Sahil Arora
33. For the smoothest mash potato, roast the potatoes with their skin (peel) on; peel and then pass it through a sieve. -Rishim Sachdeva, chef, Uzuri, New Delhi 34. To thicken soups, use boiled and mashed potatoes instead of white sauce to reduce the fat content of the soup. -Sheela Krishnaswamy
35. A good soup is made a day in advance. Let it sit in the fridge overnight, then warm it gently and all the flavours will marry beautifully.-Sara Forte, food blogger, Bysarahashley.com
36 Cut the crown of the pomegranate with a sharp knife, make a few cuts on the skin from the crown to the stem. Then, place it into a large bowl of chilled water. Break into sections, gently separating the seeds from the pulp, which will float to the top while the seed will sink to the bottom. Throw away the pulp and drain the seeds. -Manju Malhi, chef and author, UK
37. Wash your fruits and vegetables in apple cider vinegar and filtered water, including oranges, lemons and everything that has a skin (except bananas). -Soorya Kaur, raw food chef, New Delhi
38. To overcome the problem of undercooked dal add a tablespoon of oil to it before boiling. The oil helps to cook the dal/pulses perfectly; if using a pressure cooker, it also prevents the dal from overflowing out of the vessel. -Michael Swamy, chef, Mumbai
39. When barbecuing, place a whole whorl of garlic (unpeeled) on the grill. -Bakshish Dean, chef, Johnny Rockets, New Delhi
40. When seasoning a salad, use coarse sea salt mixed with a little olive oil; the salad will stay crunchy when combined with the vinaigrette, for a long time. -Sahil Arora
41. When sauteing onions, add a pinch of baking soda. It speeds browning and cuts cooking time practically in half. -Susan Voisin, food blogger, Blog.fatfreevegan.com
42. Brew tea this way for maximum flavour and benefit: boil 1 cup water; pour it over 1 tsp black tea leaves; steep for 5 minutes. In the case of green tea, use only 1/2 tsp leaves to 1 cup water, but never allow the water to boil. -Sanjay Kapur
43. Even if you're serving a simple meal, add a touch-garnish by adding an herb or vegetable garnish. You can also use spices. Enhance the setting with flowers or candles. Serve hors d'oeuvres on a rustic wooden cutting board. -Rekha Kakkar
44. Don't overcook your vegetables. Their nutrition value lies in them being eaten as fresh as possible or lightly cooked. -Rocky Singh, TV show host
48. To set yoghurt, add a litre of lukewarm milk (30?C) to a tablespoon of culture. Let it sit in a warm place, like over the refrigerator or set top box. Cover with your grandmother's tea cosy. If you find it doesn't set very well, change the culture. -Sharad Dewan, chef and area director, Park Hotels, Kolkata
46. To get a great side of green veggies, boil and salt water. Only then should you throw in vegetables so they don't lose flavour and colour. Let them boil for a couple of minutes, take out and shock with ice water, so they don't become mushy. -Vicky Ratnani, chef, TV host and cookbook author
47. When using herbs always use the stronger flavours such as rosemary at the start of your cooking when working with slow-Soak bitter greens, in a bowl of ice water in the fridge for about an hour to cut their bitterness. -Dina Avila, food blogger, Leeksoupblog.com
49. When cooking meat in a skillet, make sure to add it to hot oil and then cook at moderate heat to help seal in the juices. For added flavour and to reap in health benefits, cook in an iron skillet. -Tannie Baig
50. When baking with grain-free flours like amaranth, sorghum and almond, separate the eggs and whip the whites to soft peaks. It makes notoriously heavy flours light and cakelike. -Jenny McGruther
42. Brew tea this way for maximum flavour and benefit: boil 1 cup water; pour it over 1 tsp black tea leaves; steep for 5 minutes. In the case of green tea, use only 1/2 tsp leaves to 1 cup water, but never allow the water to boil. -Sanjay Kapur
43. Even if you're serving a simple meal, add a touch-garnish by adding an herb or vegetable garnish. You can also use spices. Enhance the setting with flowers or candles. Serve hors d'oeuvres on a rustic wooden cutting board. -Rekha Kakkar
44. Don't overcook your vegetables. Their nutrition value lies in them being eaten as fresh as possible or lightly cooked. -Rocky Singh, TV show host
48. To set yoghurt, add a litre of lukewarm milk (30?C) to a tablespoon of culture. Let it sit in a warm place, like over the refrigerator or set top box. Cover with your grandmother's tea cosy. If you find it doesn't set very well, change the culture. -Sharad Dewan, chef and area director, Park Hotels, Kolkata
46. To get a great side of green veggies, boil and salt water. Only then should you throw in vegetables so they don't lose flavour and colour. Let them boil for a couple of minutes, take out and shock with ice water, so they don't become mushy. -Vicky Ratnani, chef, TV host and cookbook author
47. When using herbs always use the stronger flavours such as rosemary at the start of your cooking when working with slow-Soak bitter greens, in a bowl of ice water in the fridge for about an hour to cut their bitterness. -Dina Avila, food blogger, Leeksoupblog.com
49. When cooking meat in a skillet, make sure to add it to hot oil and then cook at moderate heat to help seal in the juices. For added flavour and to reap in health benefits, cook in an iron skillet. -Tannie Baig
50. When baking with grain-free flours like amaranth, sorghum and almond, separate the eggs and whip the whites to soft peaks. It makes notoriously heavy flours light and cakelike. -Jenny McGruther
from yahoo lifestyle
there is one ism - 'Humanism'
Best wishes to everybody.
Dont get hurt if you differ with the opinion. Its a humble thinking...
What is religion? Is he hindu? muslim ? Cristian ? Others???
I don't think so...
Everybody walks on ground; everybody breaths from the same air; everyone has the same sky above.
Water - is the color different for different people?
We all are in the same universe. The surprise is the light - not the sun, nor the moon. They have taken the responsibilities of offering light to everybody...
There is one ism-'Humanism'
There is one ism-'Humanism'
Religion is basically a principle - which directs to do good to everybody...
Original article was written by Dr. Jayanta Talukdar
as it appeared on speakingtree.in
Sex as trade and tradition
as seen on http://in.news.yahoo.com/sex-as-trade-and-tradition-073445979.html
Baithega kya?" Two kilometres along the four-lane Jaipur Highway outside Bharatpur, these two innocuous words denote an unambiguous, almost lilting, come-on to have sex. Batting eyelashes, imperceptibly meaningful nods help things along for the uninitiated.
"Sex hamara khandaani dhanda hai (Sex is our family business)," says Manju Thakur, 30, who's zealously protective of what to her is a lucrative livelihood. Diminutive but feisty, the sex worker is a Bedia, a lower caste community in Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh, where young girls, often in their teens, engage in prostitution with the consent of the community.
Plying the only trade she knows from the profusely littered roadside near Bharatpur's Malaha village, Manju is a veteran. "I was just about 10 or 11 years old when my father, who is dead now, sent me to a well-off businessman in Dhaulpur," she says, appearing almost nostalgic recalling the Rs 10,000 her family received in exchange for her loss of virginity. "Twenty years ago, it was the maximum any girl was paid for here," she says also proudly informing you how "rich customers from Jaipur" still come by asking for her.
Present day Malaha (also known locally as Pachhi ka Nagla or 'bird village'), has more than a hundred Bedia women engaged in sex work. Often revealingly attired, with heavily made-up faces, accentuated by bright crimson or purple lipstick, they stand about beckoning potential clients. The imposing concrete flyover that bifurcated the Bedia basti in 2005 hasn't affected the trade. This is perhaps the only place in Rajasthan where more motorists forsake the convenience of the flyover, taking the potholed side-roads instead to stop by or simply get a closer look at the daily spectacle.
"Dhanda chokha hai (Business is good)," Manju smiles reapplying her lipstick in anticipation of another temporary suitor. Manju and her sisters Nisha, 25, and Reshma, 24, as well as their 20-year-old bua (aunt) Chandani support a family of 40 including five brothers, their wives, their children and a brood of offspring from the trade. "I tried hard to get them to marry," says Saroj, Manju's 50-year-old mother. But none of the girls would even consider what each one of them saw as a lifetime of domestic drudgery.
The men vehemently protest allegations that their bound-by-tradition women are forced to accept sex work as their only vocation. "Zabardasti ka nahi, raazi ka sauda hai ye (There is no force, this is by consent)," insists Vijender, 37, who thrives on the earnings of six sisters and two aunts. The pot-bellied brother claims that in keeping with the community's tradition, each of his sisters were asked to choose: "Har ek se poochha gaya tha, dhanda karogi ya shaadi (Each one was asked if she wanted marriage or to enter the sex trade)," he says.
Manju and Nisha's 39-year-old brother Lakhan concurs. It's been more than a good living for him: A shining new motorcycle and a Scorpio SUV that he plies as a cab, but only when he chooses to. "Let the government give me a decent job, I'll forbid my sisters from sex work," Lakhan promises. In the background both sisters smirk at the notion.
"Shaadi toh barbadi hai (Marriage leads to ruin)," Nisha quotes a distinctly patriarchal proverb. Bedia wives are usually not part of the dhanda (sex work) and spend their lives cooking, cleaning, washing and serving the needs of the men, the children and their 'working' sisters-in-laws. "Being a housewife is like being a mule," says Nisha who grew up aware of both the independence and seemingly infinite spending power her 'working' aunts enjoyed and the toilsome routine her own mother was condemned to.
Nisha admits, hesitantly, that she started out as a full-time sex worker when she was just 14. Ten years on, she earns between Rs 1,200 and Rs 2,000 from a single day's work-10 to 20 times the government approved wage of Rs 149. This entails sex with six to 10 men. On good days, such as during the festival season or closer to workers' monthly paydays, the take-home could easily double, she adds.
The 'tricks of the trade' are hardly a secret for teenage girls who have watched sisters and aunts engage in furtive, 10-minute sexual encounters behind cursorily strung bedsheets on the roadside. "Squawking loudly to call my brothers when a customer became unruly was my only real sex education. The rest of the stuff came naturally," Manju says.
But not every Bedia sex worker has the going so good. Fifty feet from Manju and Nisha's house washed in terracotta hues, Kaali (name changed) struggles to make ends meet. Diagnosed with hiv two years ago, she continues to solicit customers. "I know no other work and my brothers are too young to support me," explains the 30-year-old, hastily adding that now she "never has sex without a condom."
"The notion of choice in relation to the work of women who are poor is problematic. The distinction between 'forced' and 'voluntarily' sex work where the gamut of choices is non-existent is the reality of most marginalised women," says Jyoti Sanghera, 57, founding member of the Bangkok-based Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women (GAATW).
Into his second tenure in the district, better known as the location of one of the world's best-kept bird sanctuaries, Bharatpur's 34-year-old Collector Niraj Kumar Pawan has become something of a Robin Hood among the Bedia villagers. The hands-on civil servant is the first government representative to have gained the community's confidence in recognising that "brute police force cannot turn people away from centuries old tradition".
Eight years ago, just months after his predecessors in the district administration tried literally to drive the Bedi's into the ground by setting their basti at Malaha on fire, Pawan got the government to sanction the first and only school for Bedia children. Still only a difficult-to-decipher foundation amidst the dense undergrowth fringing the Bharatpur bird sanctuary, the promise of the school has evidently inspired residents.
"My girl's future will be different," says Riya, a 35-year-old sex worker whose diligent daily duty is to get 11-year-old Archana, her only daughter, to school. The doting mom however has no qualms about her own life: "I must always do the dhanda but my girl will have a real choice," she says.
Pawan believes education will equip Bedia girls with the never-before alternative of "being able to make an informed choice". Amidst objections against pucca constructions within 500 m of the bird sanctuary, the open-air Bedia school is set to enter a Rs 4.5-lakh prefabricated premises that stops short of contravening environmental safeguards. "They will soon have proper schoolrooms," he promises.
The collector's repeated interventions in Malaha and neighbouring Bagdari village, where some Bedias moved following the expansion of the Jaipur Highway in 2005, have persuaded key changes within the community. "Girls below 18 no longer engage in sex work," Pawan claims, amid rumours about fresh bidding for the initiation of two teenagers. Compared to the Rs 10,000 that Manju's family got 20 years ago, the current going price for 'teenage virgins', insiders say, could range between Rs 1.5 lakh and Rs 2 lakh, which is half the bride price a Bedia girl commands if she chooses to marry instead.
In their 15-bigha settlement outside Bagdari, Bedias face their worst fate: Forced to survive without electricity or water, their children remain segregated in the village school and the upper caste sarpanch refuses to endorse applications for voters' identity or Adhaar cards. "We have been rendered outcasts in our own country," says Ravi Kumar, 29, who struggles on the meagre earnings from a corrugated steel sheet shop at the entrance of the settlement.
Both Kumar and his 60-year-old mother Leelawati acknowledge that the community wouldn't be able to survive but for the lucrative incomes their young women make from sex work. "The (upper caste) villagers wilfully discriminate against our children and yet line up to sleep with our girls and even demand discounts," says the shopkeeper.
One concrete wall of the 20 ft underpass below the Malaha flyover bears a telling advert: "Pyar ka ek anmol taufa'-Freedom 5. Paanch saal tak pregnancy se tension free." The Bedia women are amused. "Children are good," they say. "Girls will earn more money and boys will be their protectors."
Baithega kya?" Two kilometres along the four-lane Jaipur Highway outside Bharatpur, these two innocuous words denote an unambiguous, almost lilting, come-on to have sex. Batting eyelashes, imperceptibly meaningful nods help things along for the uninitiated.
"Sex hamara khandaani dhanda hai (Sex is our family business)," says Manju Thakur, 30, who's zealously protective of what to her is a lucrative livelihood. Diminutive but feisty, the sex worker is a Bedia, a lower caste community in Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh, where young girls, often in their teens, engage in prostitution with the consent of the community.
Plying the only trade she knows from the profusely littered roadside near Bharatpur's Malaha village, Manju is a veteran. "I was just about 10 or 11 years old when my father, who is dead now, sent me to a well-off businessman in Dhaulpur," she says, appearing almost nostalgic recalling the Rs 10,000 her family received in exchange for her loss of virginity. "Twenty years ago, it was the maximum any girl was paid for here," she says also proudly informing you how "rich customers from Jaipur" still come by asking for her.
Present day Malaha (also known locally as Pachhi ka Nagla or 'bird village'), has more than a hundred Bedia women engaged in sex work. Often revealingly attired, with heavily made-up faces, accentuated by bright crimson or purple lipstick, they stand about beckoning potential clients. The imposing concrete flyover that bifurcated the Bedia basti in 2005 hasn't affected the trade. This is perhaps the only place in Rajasthan where more motorists forsake the convenience of the flyover, taking the potholed side-roads instead to stop by or simply get a closer look at the daily spectacle.
"Dhanda chokha hai (Business is good)," Manju smiles reapplying her lipstick in anticipation of another temporary suitor. Manju and her sisters Nisha, 25, and Reshma, 24, as well as their 20-year-old bua (aunt) Chandani support a family of 40 including five brothers, their wives, their children and a brood of offspring from the trade. "I tried hard to get them to marry," says Saroj, Manju's 50-year-old mother. But none of the girls would even consider what each one of them saw as a lifetime of domestic drudgery.
The men vehemently protest allegations that their bound-by-tradition women are forced to accept sex work as their only vocation. "Zabardasti ka nahi, raazi ka sauda hai ye (There is no force, this is by consent)," insists Vijender, 37, who thrives on the earnings of six sisters and two aunts. The pot-bellied brother claims that in keeping with the community's tradition, each of his sisters were asked to choose: "Har ek se poochha gaya tha, dhanda karogi ya shaadi (Each one was asked if she wanted marriage or to enter the sex trade)," he says.
Manju and Nisha's 39-year-old brother Lakhan concurs. It's been more than a good living for him: A shining new motorcycle and a Scorpio SUV that he plies as a cab, but only when he chooses to. "Let the government give me a decent job, I'll forbid my sisters from sex work," Lakhan promises. In the background both sisters smirk at the notion.
"Shaadi toh barbadi hai (Marriage leads to ruin)," Nisha quotes a distinctly patriarchal proverb. Bedia wives are usually not part of the dhanda (sex work) and spend their lives cooking, cleaning, washing and serving the needs of the men, the children and their 'working' sisters-in-laws. "Being a housewife is like being a mule," says Nisha who grew up aware of both the independence and seemingly infinite spending power her 'working' aunts enjoyed and the toilsome routine her own mother was condemned to.
Nisha admits, hesitantly, that she started out as a full-time sex worker when she was just 14. Ten years on, she earns between Rs 1,200 and Rs 2,000 from a single day's work-10 to 20 times the government approved wage of Rs 149. This entails sex with six to 10 men. On good days, such as during the festival season or closer to workers' monthly paydays, the take-home could easily double, she adds.
The 'tricks of the trade' are hardly a secret for teenage girls who have watched sisters and aunts engage in furtive, 10-minute sexual encounters behind cursorily strung bedsheets on the roadside. "Squawking loudly to call my brothers when a customer became unruly was my only real sex education. The rest of the stuff came naturally," Manju says.
But not every Bedia sex worker has the going so good. Fifty feet from Manju and Nisha's house washed in terracotta hues, Kaali (name changed) struggles to make ends meet. Diagnosed with hiv two years ago, she continues to solicit customers. "I know no other work and my brothers are too young to support me," explains the 30-year-old, hastily adding that now she "never has sex without a condom."
"The notion of choice in relation to the work of women who are poor is problematic. The distinction between 'forced' and 'voluntarily' sex work where the gamut of choices is non-existent is the reality of most marginalised women," says Jyoti Sanghera, 57, founding member of the Bangkok-based Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women (GAATW).
Into his second tenure in the district, better known as the location of one of the world's best-kept bird sanctuaries, Bharatpur's 34-year-old Collector Niraj Kumar Pawan has become something of a Robin Hood among the Bedia villagers. The hands-on civil servant is the first government representative to have gained the community's confidence in recognising that "brute police force cannot turn people away from centuries old tradition".
Eight years ago, just months after his predecessors in the district administration tried literally to drive the Bedi's into the ground by setting their basti at Malaha on fire, Pawan got the government to sanction the first and only school for Bedia children. Still only a difficult-to-decipher foundation amidst the dense undergrowth fringing the Bharatpur bird sanctuary, the promise of the school has evidently inspired residents.
"My girl's future will be different," says Riya, a 35-year-old sex worker whose diligent daily duty is to get 11-year-old Archana, her only daughter, to school. The doting mom however has no qualms about her own life: "I must always do the dhanda but my girl will have a real choice," she says.
Pawan believes education will equip Bedia girls with the never-before alternative of "being able to make an informed choice". Amidst objections against pucca constructions within 500 m of the bird sanctuary, the open-air Bedia school is set to enter a Rs 4.5-lakh prefabricated premises that stops short of contravening environmental safeguards. "They will soon have proper schoolrooms," he promises.
The collector's repeated interventions in Malaha and neighbouring Bagdari village, where some Bedias moved following the expansion of the Jaipur Highway in 2005, have persuaded key changes within the community. "Girls below 18 no longer engage in sex work," Pawan claims, amid rumours about fresh bidding for the initiation of two teenagers. Compared to the Rs 10,000 that Manju's family got 20 years ago, the current going price for 'teenage virgins', insiders say, could range between Rs 1.5 lakh and Rs 2 lakh, which is half the bride price a Bedia girl commands if she chooses to marry instead.
In their 15-bigha settlement outside Bagdari, Bedias face their worst fate: Forced to survive without electricity or water, their children remain segregated in the village school and the upper caste sarpanch refuses to endorse applications for voters' identity or Adhaar cards. "We have been rendered outcasts in our own country," says Ravi Kumar, 29, who struggles on the meagre earnings from a corrugated steel sheet shop at the entrance of the settlement.
Both Kumar and his 60-year-old mother Leelawati acknowledge that the community wouldn't be able to survive but for the lucrative incomes their young women make from sex work. "The (upper caste) villagers wilfully discriminate against our children and yet line up to sleep with our girls and even demand discounts," says the shopkeeper.
One concrete wall of the 20 ft underpass below the Malaha flyover bears a telling advert: "Pyar ka ek anmol taufa'-Freedom 5. Paanch saal tak pregnancy se tension free." The Bedia women are amused. "Children are good," they say. "Girls will earn more money and boys will be their protectors."
strange PISSING Idol on Dumdum Road this Diwali !!!
As I was coming home from my duty today evening, after coming out of the Metro station at Dumdum, saw this funny Idol put up on the road side with this guy showing his **** and intermittently letting out jets of Piss ....
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