The 10 minute journey

I was supposed to go to Belgharia where my family owns a flat. I had to deposit some stuff at the flat and so got out early today morning. While going out, my neighbor who stays two stories up came and requested to have the keys to my place. His mother had died the previous week and this week he was supposed to perform the ritualistic pooja and other stuff as a part of the final rites of the departed soul. He needed the keys to keep the materials at my place. I stay alone and so more have space as compared to his place where they live as a family of four. And the death of a member has now added further to the numbers owing to the constant arrival of grieving relatives. 

As I went out in a hurry, I rushed upstairs and deposited my keys with them so that they can keep the stuff they will buy for the ceremony at my place. If not for this little thing, what are neighbors for. I got out in a hurry and rushed to catch an auto that would take me to Nagerbazar . At Nagerbazar, I got down and was ready to jump onto the next auto but suddenly it passed my mind that the keys of my flat in belgharia were in bunch with the ring I left at my neighbor's. 

And so I rushed to catch an auto back to my flat. But, how! Oh my god! Such a huge line for an auto. I tried to catch some vehicles passing on but everyone was filled to capacity. So watching I had no other option but to get back via the long queue of waiting fellow citizens, uneasy, I finally stood behind at the end of the long queue. 

It was sunny and sun showered with all its glory. Hot and sweaty getting smeared by the dust blown up by the passing vehicles and smoke emanating from their rear, it seemed an apt punishment to my carelessness. Time seemed to pass rather slow. And then after it felt like a real long time as I took to the watch, I realized it was already more than 30 mins. Someone cursed the autos for not arriving on time while another reasoned that it was the result of the road jam as a result of which most of them were cutting short their trip and were returning from some place ahead of the stand, back to Dumdum. 

Hearing this revelation was irritating and I want to go forward and investigate the truthfulness of the talk but then the ever growing queue was now out of proportion and I realized, the moment I'd jump out of the line, my place would be taken by someone standing behind me who was equally irritated as I was and there was no possible way for me to return to my old place on the queue once I came back after seeing the truth myself. 

Any way I realized, I was either way not in a position to do anything. So better it was for me to stand and wait. I finally got into the auto to take me back to my flat in Dumdum after a period of 45 mins! Strange it is to let people know that the journey takes seven to ten minutes! I wondered, what if I had walked back home. That would killed a lot of time and so much of sun exposure and all that dust and smoke! Looks like I got them all while standing and waiting in the queue. 

The broken siesta

I came home today from gym and then took a bath to cool myself down. I have day off from my duty on Mondays. My housemaid also took leave today. So I went to gym early in the morning by 9 am. When I returned I felt drained out and hungry and so sat down under the fan for some time and had a glass of cold milk. After an hour or so maybe I got up from bed and found that it was already 2:30 in the afternoon. I realised I had been fast asleep for all this time.

I went to take a shower and came out feeling rather unfresh although, wet. Well whatever be, I wiped myself with the towel and sat under the fan for some more time. Felt like writing something but then I was too weak to do so. So instead I set up the alarm on my mobile for another 1 and half hour.

Sleep was catching fast and I was soon diving into the world of Dreams. But after sometime, the mobile beeped. Although I didn't care to check the messages that had arrived but, the beeping on my mobile broke the chain of thoughts that I was having  in my dreams. I don't remember what I have been thinking, rather dreaming but there was an uneasiness that I felt inside me. I tried hard going back but sleep was nowhere to be found.

I tossed and turned on bed. Felt as if it was too hot and so took off my Boxers and was stark naked. I have always enjoyed sleeping naked but the ceiling fan seemed to rotate faster than it was comfortable for me. I got up and turned the regulator down. But by the time I reached my bed and was supine again, I felt sweat droplets trickle down my neck.

Finally I got up again and turned the fan back onto full speed and took my mobile and started scrolling through the messages. Soon the mobile screen flashed with the alarm that I had set for waking me up.

Realising finally that today's siesta was a total waste of time I got up and made myself a hot cup of coffee and enriched with lots and lots of chocolate powder. Finally as the coffee went inside and the chocolate had it's effect, something inside settled down. The unrest gradually ceased and I sat on my balcony watching the sunset...

I do believe angels exist

I love to talk when I'm in the mood. And the best thing to get me into mood is to set up a good conversation. Last Monday proved one such day when I was having a conversation with a junior budding physician from Kolkata Medical College. We talked on various topics and soon it turned to society and our perspective of it. I have to admit although of my being bit of a pessimistic person in this matter but the conversation tickled many grey cells and later I received an email from his side detailing one of his many experiences as a trainee. I present it here with his due permission:

"He spake well who said that graveyards are the footprints of angels" - H. W. Longfellow

What’s the relevance of this quote with my status update???

Oh yes, there is. In these 6 long years of my life as a 'junior' doctor, I have witnessed the fate of several patients. Some have been cured; some have died while some others have survived only to lead a mere future life of hopelessness. Many of these souls have become too closely attached to me. And one of them is undoubtedly that small boy of our very own Paediatrics Department...the one I have always talked about: the HIV infected youngest friend of mine about whom I had written almost a year back.

My last day out with this little friend of mine was 8 months back when he came to our hospital with the same old complaint of fever and diarrhea and got admitted. But since then there has been an uncanny silence from his end and I got no trace of him through calls or letters. The ice was finally broken when I enquired about his whereabouts from the nurses of our Medical ward where he was last admitted. And what did I come to know was that he is no more. He left this world 5 months back! He went into a deep slumber from which he will never wake up.

I went silent for a moment. I looked down at the envelope in my hand in which I had brought the money to give him so that he could have a great time in the festive season. But all was a waste.

What's the use of the money now...

I feel helpless and hopeless at times when I lose someone close to my heart. I ask myself, ‘who are we? Next to God or next to nothing? We take pride in making new drug discoveries or when we heal a patient physically. But can we heal him from within? Can we help him adapt to this filthy society and live the life with dignity?’

The answer that creeps up every time is a big ‘No’.

We don’t in most cases. But surely we can. Curing someone isn’t merely restricted to healing of a bed-sore or relieving Acute Kidney Injury through Hemodialysis or prolonging the life of a cancer patient by 5 years. To heal someone means to heal with the power of love. Even if medical therapy fails to resuscitate a dying person but the touch of love can surely let his pain be eased in the last few moments of survival. I don’t know if I will ever emerge as a stalwart in my professional arena, but what I am happy about is the fact that I have given all the love I could to my little friend who would always have a shining smile on his face upon catching a glimpse of me. Now he will rest in peace forever in my sweetest memories. But the war he fought so far should never go in vain.

The money that I failed to give him before he breathed his last still lies in the locker of my bank account. And someday, I want to use it for building a centre for the welfare of HIV infected children. You can call me a dreamer because ingle headedly it’s surely a difficult task but I hope people from this very society will join me in this venture over time. I do believe angels exist—even today...

Courtesy: Dr. Avik Basu