Six Golden Rules For F***ing

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health but harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind and body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After f***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. When f***ing try to stay in bed because it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level

SO REMEMBER - *FASTING* is good for your health!!

Courtesy: whatsapp

what will people say

Generation gap

What is "GENERATION GAP"?

**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)

**Cultural Gap
If electricity goes in America they call the power house.
In Japan, they test the fuse,
But In India, they check neighbour's house, "sabki gayi hai naa, phir thik hai!"

**Sense of Responsibility...
A man goes to library n asks for a book on Suicide..........
Librarian looks at him n says: "Bhai wapas kaun dene aayega???"

**GRANDFATHER TO GRANDSON:
Go hide! Your teacher is coming as you bunked school today!
GRANDSON: YOU go hide.. I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!!

**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
Brother: A football
Sister: But grandma does not play!
Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita. Uska kya?

A heart touching tale

Pappu ko Heart ki bimari thi….
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Doctor ne namak na khane ki salah di...
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Pappu ki biwi hamesha pappu ka khayal rakhne lagi....
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Pappu bhi bahot sawdhani rakhne laga....
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Samay pe khana������, sona, uthna,dr. ki batai exercise karna,
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������khane mein namak bilkul na lena,..
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regular aur samay pe dawayilena...
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Par achanak ek din ��subah ko pappu bathroom ke darwaje ��pe mara
hua mila...
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Sab hairan the ki itni sawdhani ke baad aisa kaise ho gaya..
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Post martam ki report✉�� aayi to pataa chala....
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Uske Toothpaste mein ‘Namak’ tha…
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Kya aapke toothpaste mein
namak hai.. ??
������

Husband-wife relationship

Never underestimate the power of 3 things:

1. Wife angry for a reason

2. Wife angry without reason

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason. 

The relationship between a wife & husband is very psychological.
One is psycho and the other is Logical.

Plz don't try to figure out Who is Who.... :D :D :D

Jokes on married life

(1)Put your wife in a room & lock it. Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you ! 

(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!)

Don't laugh loud ---- 

The extended version says.

(2) Put your husband in a room & lock it. Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

(3) Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: "If I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!

(4) If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable. If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

(5)A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the years

(6)Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.

(7) Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!

Dad: What role are you playing?

Pappu: A husband!

Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

(8) Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “I am talking to my wife”

(9) A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”

(10) Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(11)Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……"

(12)Wife wanted to go for a vacation.......
Husband booked her tickets via Malaysian airlines-

One time investment!!!!