Where I should be

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I MAY NOT BE WHERE I SHOULD BE
BUT, AT LEAST
I AM NOT WHERE I USED TO BE...

TO LEARN TO LIVE

IS LEARNING TO MOVE ON

The ragtime gals singing sexual healing

The Ragtime Gals: Sexual Healing

Four facts Jo Khatam Hone Pe Bahut Takleef Dete Hein:

1. Dosti
2. Paisa
3. Pyaar
aur
4) Ravivaar!

Last Waala Toh Rula Hi Deta Hai!!!

What Indian advertisements taught me.???

1. Kareena has dandruff problem, Katrina has dry hair problem, Shilpa has hairfall problem and Priyanka has chip-chip.

2. Your complexion is more important than your qualifications.

3. If there is no salt in your kitchen you can use Toothpaste.

4. Every second oral care brand is No. 1 and recommended by every dentist in India!!!

5. If your daughter is not Ready to Get married, take her to a jewelry/textile shop.

6. Only reason why men use deodorant is to get girls.

7. Most colas cure all kinds of phobias. You will be close to a superman, if you drink these regularly!!

8. All superstars are so poor that they prefer to risk life for a cool drink than to purchase it for Rs:10

9. The special effects in shampoo ads are greater than special effects in Avatar.

10. Fruit content in shampoo and soap is more than fruit content in 99% of juices.

11. Amul has better satirical cartoonists than people who make better milk products.

12. Most people buy vehicles to travel in bad roads but complain about roads in India.

13. You can't eat Dairy Milk Silk without spreading it all over you face.

14. Nobody uses motorbikes for commuting, its only to pick up girls.

15. All soaps kill 99.9% of germs.

16. People believe that Bacardi makes music CD's and Directors special/Kingfisher make mineral water.

17. The only time mothers and daughters talk to each other, it's usually about hair oil.

18. No matter what kind of expert one is, he'll always wear a white laboratory coat.

And, finally a new word...........

19.Mutualfundinvestmentsaresubjecttomarketriskspleasereadtheofferdocumentcarefullybeforeinvesting

Never insult those who are poor or ugly.
They are the reason YOU look Rich and Handsome...

Banerjee in Bangla

Now that's funny!
I tried translating Banerjee to Bengali using Google translate.
This is what resulted :D

Six Golden Rules For F***ing

1. F***ing once a week is good for your health but harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind and body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After f***ing don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. When f***ing try to stay in bed because it can save you valuable energy.

6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level

SO REMEMBER - *FASTING* is good for your health!!

Courtesy: whatsapp

Generation gap

What is "GENERATION GAP"?

**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)

**Cultural Gap
If electricity goes in America they call the power house.
In Japan, they test the fuse,
But In India, they check neighbour's house, "sabki gayi hai naa, phir thik hai!"

**Sense of Responsibility...
A man goes to library n asks for a book on Suicide..........
Librarian looks at him n says: "Bhai wapas kaun dene aayega???"

**GRANDFATHER TO GRANDSON:
Go hide! Your teacher is coming as you bunked school today!
GRANDSON: YOU go hide.. I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!!

**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
Brother: A football
Sister: But grandma does not play!
Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita. Uska kya?

A heart touching tale

Pappu ko Heart ki bimari thi….
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Doctor ne namak na khane ki salah di...
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Pappu ki biwi hamesha pappu ka khayal rakhne lagi....
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Pappu bhi bahot sawdhani rakhne laga....
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Samay pe khana��, sona, uthna,dr. ki batai exercise karna,
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��khane mein namak bilkul na lena,..
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regular aur samay pe dawayilena...
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Par achanak ek din ��subah ko pappu bathroom ke darwaje ��pe mara
hua mila...
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Sab hairan the ki itni sawdhani ke baad aisa kaise ho gaya..
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Post martam ki report✉�� aayi to pataa chala....
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Uske Toothpaste mein ‘Namak’ tha…
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Kya aapke toothpaste mein
namak hai.. ??
��

Husband-wife relationship

Never underestimate the power of 3 things:

1. Wife angry for a reason

2. Wife angry without reason

3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason. 

The relationship between a wife & husband is very psychological.
One is psycho and the other is Logical.

Plz don't try to figure out Who is Who.... :D :D :D

Jokes on married life

(1)Put your wife in a room & lock it. Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & see who is Happy to see you, and who will BITE you !

(Group members are advised not to try this at home as these stunts were performed by professionals; who are now divorced; and living happily with their dog!!)

Don't laugh loud ----

The extended version says.

(2) Put your husband in a room & lock it. Put your dog in another room & lock it !!!
Open both rooms after 2 - 3 hours & you will be happy to see your dog waiting for you.. but you'll be angry looking at your husband sleeping like he never slept before!!!

(3) Always keep your spouse’s picture as mobile screen saver.
Whenever you face a problem, see the picture & say: "If I can handle this, I can handle anything!"… Superb Attitude for Life!!

(4) If wife wants husband’s attention, she just has to look sad & uncomfortable. If husband wants wife’s attention, he just has to look comfortable & happy.

(5)A Philosopher HUSBAND said:- "Every WIFE is a ‘Mistress’ of her Husband…
“Miss” for first year & “Stress” for rest of the years

(6)Do you remember the tingling feeling when you took the decision to get married? That was common sense leaving your body.

(7) Pappu: Dad, l got selected for a role in a play for annual day!

Dad: What role are you playing?

Pappu: A husband!

Dad: Stupid, ask for a role with dialogues!

(8) Man outside phone booth: “Excuse me you are holding phone since 29 minutes and you haven’t spoken a word”.
Man inside: “I am talking to my wife”

(9) A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage..
She said- “sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot”

(10) Position of a husband is just like a Split AC, No matter how loud he is outdoor, He is designed to remain silent indoor!

(11)Best one line ad by a married man on OLX:
"For Sale – Wedding Suit, used only once by Mistake……"

(12)Wife wanted to go for a vacation.......
Husband booked her tickets via Malaysian airlines-

One time investment!!!!

A short note on delivery

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Someday

Someday
When my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why
you were always there for me

One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I'll look around for another try
And'll fade away...

11 things about coffee

While scrolling through Google Play Newsstand, came to this interesting article by Esther Crain:

1. Two cups a day can extend your life. Researchers aren’t sure why, but people who drank this amount or more daily lived longer and were less likely to die of chronic conditions such as diabetes and heart disease as were coffee abstainers, according to a study from the New England Journal of Medicine.

2. It gives your memory a kick. The caffeine in a cup or two of java doesn't just perk you up in the moment—it enhances your memory up to 24 hours after you drink it. This provides an assist when it comes to forming new memories, reports a Nature study.

3. It reduces pain. A Norwegian study found that office workers who took a coffee break felt less neck and shoulder pain during the workday. (That's your excuse to get up and move!)

4. It keeps your brain sharp over time. Make a mental note of this: 3 to 5 cups of coffee a day can help prevent the cognitive decline associated with aging, leading to a 65 percent decrease in developing Alzheimer’s or dementia, according to a recent study.

5. There’s a cold brew boom. Practically unheard of a generation ago, iced coffee and cold coffee drinks now make up almost 25 percent of all coffee store menu items.

6. Billions of cups are sipped a day. Americans consume 400 million cups of coffee per day. That’s equivalent to 146 billion cups of coffee per year, making the United States the leading consumer of coffee in the world. U-S-A!

7. You can reuse the grounds. Only 20 percent of the coffee you pour into your coffee maker gets used, leaving the rest of the grounds destined for the trash can. But they have tons of reuse potential! A few ideas: Leave a batch in your fridge as a deodorizer, or rub a fistful between your hands as a natural skin exfoliant.

8. Coffee obsession is taking over. How much do we live the stuff? Consider the results of a new survey: 55 percent of coffee drinkers would rather gain 10 pounds than give up coffee for life, while 52 percent would prefer going without a shower in the morning than abstain. And 49 percent of coffee fans would give up their cell phone for a month rather than go without the stuff.

9. Most coffee is made and consumed at home. But when we do go out for a cup, we’re most likely to head for the nearest Starbucks, McDonald’s, and Dunkin’ Donuts. These three chains are tops for national coffee sales.

10. It may have been the first energy food. Legend has it that coffee was discovered in Ethiopia centuries ago; locals at the time supposedly scored an energy boost from a ball of animal fat infused with coffee.

11. It can power your workout. If you hit the gym in the a.m., dosing up on coffee can help you take advantage of the caffeine jolt.

From: http://google.com/newsstand/s/CBIwiI3j0xo

Another Brick In The Wall

Another Brick In The Wall by Pink Floyd

(one of my all time favourite)

Now You See Her

“My mother used to say there was nothing lonelier than an unhappy marriage.” ....Joy Fielding

Physical activity Guidelines by WHO

WHO developed the "Global Recommendations on Physical Activity for Health" with the overall aim of providing national and regional level policy makers with guidance on the dose-response relationship between the frequency, duration, intensity, type and total amount of physical activity needed for the prevention of NCDs.

The recommendations address three age groups: 5–17 years old; 18–64 years old; and 65 years old and above.

Physical Activity and Young People (for children aged 5 - 17 years):

In order to improve cardiorespiratory and muscular fitness, bone health, and cardiovascular and metabolic health biomarkers:

Children and youth aged 5–17 should accumulate at least 60 minutes of moderate- to vigorous-intensity physical activity daily.
Amounts of physical activity greater than 60 minutes provide additional health benefits.
Most of the daily physical activity should be aerobic. Vigorous-intensity activities should be incorporated, including those that strengthen muscle and bone*, at least 3 times per week.

*For this age group, bone-loading activities can be performed as part of playing games, running, turning or jumping.

ü These recommendations are relevant to all healthy children aged 5–17 years unless specific medical conditions indicate to the contrary.

ü The concept of accumulation refers to meeting the goal of 60 minutes per day by performing activities in multiple shorter bouts spread throughout the day (e.g. 2 bouts of 30 minutes), then adding together the time spent during each of these bouts.

ü For inactive children and youth, a progressive increase in activity to eventually achieve the target shown above is recommended. It is appropriate to start with smaller amounts of physical activity and gradually increase duration, frequency and intensity over time. It should also be noted that if children are currently doing no physical activity, doing amounts below the recommended levels will bring more benefits than doing none at all.

Physical Activity and Adults (physical activity for adults aged 18 - 64 years):

In order to improve cardiorespiratory and muscular fitness, bone health, reduce the risk of NCDs and depression:

Adults aged 18–64 should do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or do at least 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity activity.
Aerobic activity should be performed in bouts of at least 10 minutes duration.
For additional health benefits, adults should increase their moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity to 300 minutes per week, or engage in 150 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity per week, or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity activity.
Muscle-strengthening activities should be done involving major muscle groups on 2 or more days a week.

ü These recommendations are relevant to all healthy adults aged 18–64 years unless specific medical conditions indicate to the contrary. They are applicable for all adults irrespective of gender, race, ethnicity or income level. They also apply to individuals in this age range with chronic non-communicable conditions not related to mobility such as hypertension or diabetes.

ü There are multiple ways of accumulating the total of 150 minutes per week. The concept of accumulation refers to meeting the goal of 150 minutes per week by performing activities in multiple shorter bouts, of at least 10 minutes each, spread throughout the week then adding together the time spent during each of these bouts: e.g. 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity 5 times per week.

ü Pregnant, postpartum women and persons with cardiac events may need to take extra precautions and seek medical advice before striving to achieve the recommended levels of physical activity for this age group.

ü Inactive adults or adults with disease limitations will have added health benefits if moving from the category of “no activity” to “some levels” of activity. Adults who currently do not meet the recommendations for physical activity should aim to increase duration, frequency and finally intensity as a target to achieving them.

Physical Activity and Older Adults (physical activity for adults aged 65 and above):

In order to improve cardiorespiratory and muscular fitness, bone and functional health, reduce the risk of NCDs, depression and cognitive decline:

Older adults should do at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or do at least 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity throughout the week or an equivalent combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity activity.
Aerobic activity should be performed in bouts of at least 10 minutes duration.
For additional health benefits, older adults should increase their moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity to 300 minutes per week, or engage in 150 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity per week, or an equivalent combination of moderate-and vigorous-intensity activity.
Older adults, with poor mobility, should perform physical activity to enhance balance and prevent falls on 3 or more days per week.
Muscle-strengthening activities, involving major muscle groups, should be done on 2 or more days a week.
When older adults cannot do the recommended amounts of physical activity due to health conditions, they should be as physically active as their abilities and conditions allow.

ü These guidelines are relevant to all healthy adults aged 65 years and above. They are also relevant to individuals in this age range with chronic NCD conditions. Individuals with specific health conditions, such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes, may need to take extra precautions and seek medical advice before striving to achieve the recommended levels of physical activity for older adults.

ü There are a number of ways older adults can accumulate the total of 150 minutes per week. The concept of accumulation refers to meeting the goal of 150 minutes per week by performing activities in multiple shorter bouts, of at least 10 minutes each, spread throughout the week then adding together the time spent during each of these bouts: e.g. 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity 5 times per week.

ü Older adults who are inactive or who have some disease limitations will have added health benefits if moving from the category of “no activity” to “some levels” of activity. Older adults who currently do not meet the recommendations for physical activity should aim to increase duration, frequency and finally intensity as a target to achieving them.

Note: These recommendations can be applied to people with disabilities. However, adjustments for each individual based on their exercise capacity and specific health risks or limitations may be needed.

India's Mars Orbiter Mission sends first images of Mars

India successfully placed its low-cost Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) spacecraft in orbit around the red planet in its very first attempt yesterday.

India's Mars spacecraft has beamed back the first images of the red planet and they were made public by ISRO with a caption "The view is nice up here", a day after it was placed in orbit in the very first attempt scripting space history.

From:http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/43414311.cms?utm_source=contentofinterest&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=cppst

India creates history as Mangalyaan successfully enters Mars orbit in first attempt

‏@MarsOrbiter

What is red, is a planet and is the focus of my orbit? pic.twitter.com/HDRWjOcPus

Creating history, ISRO's Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) on Wednesday successfully entered the orbit of the red planet. With this, India has become the first nation in the world to have entered the Mars orbit in the first attempt. ISRO's MOM is also the cheapest such mission till now.

European, US and Russian probes have managed to orbit or land on the planet, but after several attempts.

At 7.17 AM, the 440 Newton Liquid Apogee Motor (LAM) sizzled with life as it burnt along with ..

Khoya Khoya Chand

Mikey McCleary - Khoya Khoya - The Bartender

yester and now

Yester were load-shedding nights

Friends, family and the starry sky.

Now is the conditioned room, skyline

And solitude in the apartment high...

http://allpoetry.com/poem/11594031-Yester-And-Now-by-Leaf-of-Spring

Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder .....
.....
I wonder how; I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree...(Fool's Garden)

we all have our own pasts and ponderings....

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perspective

love you to want me

Baby,

I'd love you to want me.
The way that I want you,

The way that it should be.

Baby,

you'd love me to want you,
The way that I want to

if you'd only let it be...(Lobo)

just Love the song.....

The Millennial generation

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82 % of people between 18 and 33
(also known as the Millennial generation)
spend more time sending and receiving text messages
than they do having sex!!!

-http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/texting-in-bed?cm_mmc=outbrain_null_null_null&obref=obinsource

A strange world

Stop being 'normal'

My Immortal

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me.......(Evanescence)

Cher

When you’re putting on your makeup it’s like you’re an artist but instead of painting a canvas you’re painting your face....

lady from Sherwood Park

A lady from Sherwood Park named Tannis posted this pic yesterday, with the following message....

"This is an open letter to the 2 guys and 1 girl who decided to skip work today in Sherwood Park where they were building a house, but instead decided to come to Alberta Beach to relax in the sun, enjoy the water and some beers.
I'm sorry if my first attempt at sun tanning in a bikini in public in 13 years "grossed you out". I'm sorry that my stomach isn't flat and tight. I'm sorry that my belly is covered in stretch marks. I'm NOT sorry that my body has housed, grown, protected, birthed and nurtured FIVE fabulous, healthy, intelligent and wonderful human beings. I'm sorry if my 33 year old, 125 lb body offended you so much that you felt that pointing, laughing, and pretending to kick me. But I'll have you know that as I looked at your 'perfect' young bodies, I could only think to myself "what great and amazing feat has YOUR body done?". I'll also have you know that I held my head high, unflinching as you mocked me, pretending that what you said and did had no effect on me; but I cried in the car on the drive home. Thanks for ruining my day. It's people like you who make this world an ugly hateful place. I can't help but feel sorry for the women who will one day bear your children and become "gross" in your eyes as their bodies change during the miraculous process of pregnancy. I can only hope that one day you'll realize that my battle scars are something to be proud of, not ashamed of."

Onions and the Man

A strange creation of God is Man.

And bizarre are his ways that

We often say as Lord’s will.

But Man is strange still,

And stranger are his ways that

None other but only another

Man, and only a Man catch.

My neighbour, a respectable one

Past 50’s and settled with a job,

Family, son and a grandson

House, flat, bank balance and all.

But age spares none

And he is no exception.

A recent fractured limb

Got him a supporting crutch.

And man is the complaining child

That he always is.

So, similar is the case

With my gentleman here.

Now he laments his age

And clings to things dear.

Well the evening was nice

The sky was clear

Setting sun coloured the scatter

Of the clouds few here and there.

The eve was now already spiced

With the flavours of the Frieds down the corner.

Mmm...I’ll go down and get a chicken chop

And an egg roll from the shop at opp.

Yes here he comes , I can see.

He’s got a load filled with onions,

There are potatoes and other things as well.

Now he stops just below my balcony,

Gets down from the rickshaw-van

Off to the shop three blocks far

To the mobile recharge man.

And now I see my neighbour come round

He, who had been sitting on his flat stairs

And was watching the evening stares.

He was casual, saw this way and that

And picked up not one, not two but

A handful of onions!

Smarted into his pockets fast

And walked to his stairs and sat

As if nothing had happened as a fact!

Yester And Now

I was a single child,
Single but, not alone.
Loner with a few mates
Few were but all-known.

Yester were dull classes,
Strong bonds and deathly foes.
Yester were the new glasses
Secret letters and valentine’s rose.

Yester were bunking periods,
Black ticket movies and walks back home.
Yester was the neighbour’s girl,
Taking her out ‘like a walk in Rome’.

Yester were the afternoons,
The games and the ground.
Yester were bruising the knees,
The getting lost and coming found.

Yester were the year endings
The feasts in winter nights.
Yester were the sleepovers,
Friends and the pillow fights.

Yester was when, we met
Each day and every day.
When we fought and patched
And on the roof we’d lay.

Yester was then, but now is here.
Yester was slow but now is fast.
Yester is memory and yester is gone,
But, now is here, and now will last.

Now is the internet
Facebook, mails and twitter
Now are the likes, status and updates
Sometimes smiles and sometimes bitter.

Now is coming home late
Evenings dark and home alone.
Now is movie in a multiplex,
Chatting on mobile phone.

Yester were the friends few,
We were brothers in play and crime.
But now the list is in hundreds
Not one has the attention prime.

Yester was foolish anger
And fights over the class girl.
Now is seminars, parties, meetings
Dazzling women in shining pearls.

Yester was togetherness
The Bonding and brotherhood.
Now is connectivity, inclusiveness
Being updated, one always should.

Yester were load-shedding nights
Friends, cousins and the starry sky.
Now is the conditioned room, skyline
And solitude in the apartment high.

http://allpoetry.com/poem/11594031-Yester-And-Now-by-Leaf-of-Spring

Lying Half naked

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Im here, lying on my bed
Covering my half naked body
With a sheet of purple green and red.

I'm tired, can't concentrate,
Worn out, in a shabby state.
A long week's load past
And a rough week waiting ahead
But, but today a mid week holiday.
Away from work and lazy at home,
Unshaven face and tired to the bone,
I lay pass the afternoon breeze.
Intermittent rain on the window crease,
Occasional horn from a rickshaw down below
Irritating neighbour playing the radio,
And I lie half naked covered half by the sheet
As the wet breeze passes by
I'm here, unshaven, unfresh... Im beat.

100 years since the First World War

100 YEARS AGO, as today, global superpowers were engaged in an game of brinkmanship that found an outlet in local conflicts in Eastern Europe.

It was in the Balkans in 1914 and today marks the centenary of the day that World War I effectively commenced.

On 28 July 1914, the Austro-Hungarian Empire declared war on Serbia and, within the space of a week, the five major powers in Europe were all at war.

The declaration of war happened a month to the day after Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife were assassinated by a Serb nationalist Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo.

Austria was unhappy with the Serbian response to the killing and, after being reassured of the backing of its its ally Germany, proceeded with a military response.

Russia had promised support to Serbia and the following day Germany and Russia were at war, activating alliances between France and Britain that saw them enter the conflict.

from http://www.thejournal.ie/world-war-1-commemoration-1589077-Jul2014/

Creative And Crazy

Famed psychologist Hans Eysenck asserted that creative genius correlates with a high level of what he called psychoticism. Psychoticism, as he defined it, is a dimension of personality that suggests a susceptibility to psychotic behavior.

Challenges notwithstanding, these psychotic tendencies translate well in creative endeavors through what Eysenck refers to as over-inclusiveness.

If creativity is the process of coming up with novel and meaningful solutions to perplexing problems, then over-inclusiveness is the ability to see more and more ideas as relevant to a possible solution.

Over-inclusiveness is a cognitive trait that forms a foundation for divergent thinking, the method used to explore many possible solutions based on unexpected connections.

Divergent thinking is the hallmark of creative generalists.

Five behaviors of creative generalists:

Wander and wonder
Synthesize and summarize
Link and leap
Mix and match
Experience and empathize

from: http://www.forbes.com/sites/drewhansen/2011/08/11/the-connection-between-creative-and-crazy/